Recap 58- The Underlords

Hello friends!!!

What a great evening we had together adventuring. Not a whole lot was accomplished in terms of moving the story along but you were introduced to a new gentleman full of riddles and musical knowledge (even if it is very specific). You also saw the power that is the underlords. Be they friend or foe? Most likely foe. But the reasons why you do not know. Perhaps they are jealous of the 4 friends glow? Perhaps they seek to destroy all all things that grow? Perhaps they are just a psycho  cult that wants to put on an execution show? Maybe you’ll get to know them better  maybe not. Let’s fucking recap. Come on let’s go!

Recap

The night has come to the outskirts of respit proper. Your way in the out lands. In a tunnel under a cave under the night wind full of dark magic and endless possibilities. Richard glickmans lifeless corpse is still steaming as the blood runs out his 4,000 attack laden body. Bitey is weak and curled up in ulrichs pack taking a goblin nap. The squeeze and bowls of the underlords permeates the area above. Inside of this room there are 5 chairs. 3 of those you were once strapped to but now show remnants of your powerful abilities to beak the tie that binds. The wall has a brass plate with 10 buttons on it showing 2 sets of 5. 5 with up arrows and 5 with a circle with an x in it.

SIDENOTE

Should have used Tildas.

End SIDENOTE.

This is where a majority of the night was spent. Contemplating what to do. Go back and fight these underlords? Pick them off one by one through strategical battle placements? Go save Rodney the Dragonborn? Just fucking leave? Do a bunch of Dana and kill each other in an agreed minder suicide pact?

Always ones to go for the fight you decide to test your luck against the underlords bit not without a bit of planing.

Aldanis has his spikey spikes that he chooses to cast a few feet away from the opening of the hatch which is at the end of a long hallway.

Being on the opposite side of the spikey spikey spikies your now stuck with a self inflicted puzzle (ally-ds favorite). How are you ever going to get over these spikes to taunt them underlords to make them follow you so you can kill them all off? Oh yeah. Duh. LIGHT LOAFERS.

Using the spider jizz ropes given to you by catcher you tie some slip knots to ulrich and toss that dwarf over the spikes. Ulrich sails over the spikes and lands like a gymnast on the other side.

Ulrich climbs the ladder to the hatch and taunts the underlords above who instantly howl a creepy death howl and trap him in a green beam of light. Ulrich is prone.

Sensing the danger that those fiend is in aldannis mounts sprikleshits and sprinkles hits backs up to get a running start and then quickly stops forcing his passenger to be projected over the spikey spikey spikeys and latch’s directly to ulrichs feet.

He drags him back to the relative bit fleeting safety of the tunnel and hm ow they know they have to get the fuck out of there.

Speikleshits helps the boys back over with the help of catchers spider jizz and the light loafers as they lay in wait for the underlords to approach.

Those stupid underlords are gone get spikey spikey spikeyied

5 or so grey robes underlords float down from above and float over the spikey spikey spikeys all the whole shooting green light at you. They are a terrible shot at long range. But they are quickly gettin closer.

You decide to flee.

Fuck this shit. Your out.

Back to the round room with the chairs.

You quickly put sprinkles hits back into dicktoes form now into a seat and send him up by pushing the up button.

Ulrich tells aldannis to sit in a chair. Ulrich pushes the button and runs over to aldannis msg chair and they ride up together. Ulrich in aldannis lap like the worst ventriloquist act of all time.

I’m guessing you drink piss while ulrich sings “goodbye my Coney Island baby”.

Regardless you have escaped.

You’ve escaped into a moonlit area with a cool breeze on your face. The ground is a long grass and it would be almost perfect if it wasn’t for the faint blue light surrounding everything like your standing inside a bubble. A very large dome bubble. That and the countless grimble corpses in various stages of decay.

“Your not Richard” says the you g lad clad in all black.

You find out this is BLIMPIS. A fan of the cure and all things dark. He tells you you must answer his riddles to get out of the cure dome.

The riddles are :

What always starts but is never on?

What eats but is never full? (Answered)

as green light glows all around for a short time much to the enjoyment of blimpis. He gave you this one cuz of the hilarious answer not because it was right. Cure fans aren’t opposed to laughter it’s just not something they seek out let alone allow themselves. So this was a nice respite from his usual gloom and doom cure infused life.

What keeps but always spoils?

This is where you are gents. Let’s get some shit done next time. Or not. It’s always fun hanging with friends. Maybe you can just stay here and go through the whole cure discigraphy with your new pal blimpis. We will soon see on our next fun filled friendly fun fest.

Love you.

-back to The Underlords