Recap 59- The Underlords

Hey ducheo!

Another night of the fantastic duo the dynamic ducheo brought us a few new items, puzzles, and an unconscious emo. So pretty much same old same old. You were able to get out of the cube but your load is a bit heavier for the good and the bad. You have some loose ends to tie up and some knots to untie. Lots ahead of you gents. Excited to see where you go.

Hopefully rolan and dicktoes can join back up sometime soon.

Let’s recap.

The night begins in the blimpis cube. The riddles remain unanswered hanging over your head like a dangling blade. Your surrounded by grumbles in various stages of decay as blimpis looks down at the floor humming cure tunes. He’s uninterested, and a little scared.

He’s not sure where Richard is and is surprised he hasn’t shown up yet. Try as you both may you attempt to convince blimpis that Richard is dead. That he died by your hands (and piss but you left that part out). He isn’t believing it. Richard is too powerful in blimpis mind to be defeated by some randos.

You pester the poor emo kid for more info on Richard and he tells youth at he was once kidnapped by the underlords and trapped in a cage like the others. That he was next to some weird Dragonborn names Rodney that was annoying as hell and always talking about how much of a big wig his brother was in some village somewhere. He also tells you that Richard “saved” him when he came to the underlords. And that he quickly became grimble grumble the leader of the grumbles in a natural but very fast paced way. Richard taxed young blimpis with overseeing the happenings at the cube. Where he would alert Richard of any escapees to rich Richard would swiftly, brutally, and gleefully deal with. The riddle questions had no answer and were only put there to buy time for Richard to “prepare” for his duties. Blimpis was told to sit at the desk and ask the questions and then Alert Richard when an escapee happens to end up in the cube. The rest is  obvious by the littering of grumbles all over the grass. Blimpis sits back at the desk and slumps back to his shitty posture position right back to the cure song he was humming a moment ago.

The following very eloquent quote is attributed to the lawful good ulrich who says “Fuck this kid”. Which must be stated is a very dangerous utterance amongst this group.

This is where you go all Sherlock McGyver on the cube and the dead grumbles. The grumbles are slaves and don’t have shot in their pockets. Your Trying as hard as hell to figure out how the fuck your going to get out of here cuz blimpis is no help at all. There isn’t a main focal point from where this light is emigrating from. Ther isn’t a machine that turns it on or off. It’s like it’s magic or something.

You find basically nothing to go on but try your luck when you find some limestone (CUNNING) and slowly inch it through the blue pink light of the cube as it heats up, turns to dust and evaporates.

That’s when you remember the desk. You go to the desk and break open the drawers to find a shit ton of feathers. A puzzle box with buttons and cranks. And I think a bottle of wine?!

You also discover a unique blade. The blade is so cold it is emoting a dry ice like mist. The purple handle looks frosted. Ulrich puts his hand over the blade and it burns his hand with its tundra forged mist. A killer perception check allows ulrich to know that this type of blade is known to be forged by a master knife maker from winters canyon and that though it can pierce just about anything, leather is its one kryptonite which renders the blade unusable.

Ulrich looks at the blade. Looks at blimpis. Looks at ally d.

Then removed his lioncloth.

Blimpis looks nervous after hearing “fuck this kid” and watching what is happening in front of him at the moment. But is released when ulrich uses the leather loincloth to wrap the blade up and put it in his pack next to a slowly recovering bitey.

Bottomless, ulrich pushes on and turns up the heat on the investigation on how to get out of this fucking cube.

You also notice the glass top of this wooden table and you decide to try your hand at using the glass as a possible way out this fucking stinky ass cube. The glass is the same size as the table top about 3 ft by 6 feet and heavy as balls. Not worth for a half drunk dwarf forest of some blood lust. Ulrich Jones the glass overhead and try’s it in the blue pink light to Wichita it reflects the light like a mirror. Ulrich and aldannis use the glass as a shield as they huddle under it and inch forward. As they end up on the other side the smell is gone and the crisp night air feels good on your skin.

Blimpis is waiving at you and half cracks a smile. He’s sad to see you go.

In perhaps the most uncommon display of empathy I have ever seen and one of the worst executions of caring, you go back in the cube, punch out blimpis and carry his unconscious body the fuck outta there. At least you didn’t duck this kid right.

Aldannis wants to bring him back to respit and get him healed up. Ulrich is in agreement. Blimpis is a fucking teenager that got knocked out and is being carried around by two grown men in the middle of the night. One in hot pants and one with nothing covering his unmentionables. If victory was here to see this she would be appalled ......or proud, maybe both.

While  your reasons to helllp old blimpis may be true the way your doing it is hilarious.

Smooth sailing back to respit for a few steps until you reach a small cavern in the sparse woodland outside of town. An arrow flys through the night air and hits aldannis right in the hip. Your under attack from a band of rouges whose beady eyes pierce the inky darkness. There are at least 5 of them. Hitting you from various angles and one or two trying to flank around the back to get at whatever it is they think your carrying. You stash unconscious blimpis behind a rock for sage keeping and again the same fucking plan to lure them to a narrow passage so you can pick them off one by one is proposed. Every fucking time you guys. Come on.

Aldannis uses something other than fave shooting and casts a real spell that hinders the rouges quite massively as they still try picking you off from a distance. Heart chopper and lumberpriest make quick work of a number of them but the ice blade you found goes unused and will probably be collecting dust and goblin shit for the next 50 years.

The battle with these rouges is short and you take minor damage. The last one is. Still clinging to life at your feet while the others have been sent to the world beyond.

In the distance The city of respit is bringing to wake up as the slivers of morning break the night sky. It’s eerily quiet in this cavern after the echoes of your fight have subsided. The only sound is a chirping of a longtailed hummerbird sitting in a fissure in the cavern wall directly above you. The serene quiet is interrupted by Blimpis who is talking in his ulrich punch induced slumber. In between gurgles “Richard............Friday I’m in love...... no... not the cage........ please......... Rodney.........help........ pictures of you.......Richard.......”

This is where we are gents. Yesterday morning you woke in respit as Kings. Today you plan on returning. battle worn, half naked, with an knocked out emo kid over your shoulder, and the knowledge that there is a really fucked to crew that had a hand in trying to do you in

, that live in a cave on the outskirts of respit. Richy G is dead and gone but the underlords may be on the lookout for you and those floaty green light shooting weirdos ain’t nothing to fuck with. You might need a helping hand or at least a kick ass weapon to take thrm on.

Even if they write you off as a loss and don’t pursue you,  you still have the weight of seeing all those innocent beings in cages in the underlords lair. Not to mention that Rodneys begs for help still haunt you. “I tell ya. I tell ya. It’s terrible down here, just terrible. Get me outta here please ya know! I’m serious please com on ya gotta get me outta here I tell ya”

Oooooooooooo. It sends shivers down my spine just typing it.

See ya next time loses.

-back to The Underlords