Deepshaft

Capital of the Mountain Dwarves
The majority of the Mountain Dwarves in this region dwell in the Deepshaft mountains located to whatever direction of whichever major city (TBD by our illustrious DM). The range, which stretches from the coast of some body of water in a cardinal direction to the rolling foothills just outside the aforementioned major city, was the ideal location for the Mountain Dwarves to take up residence. Providing rich mineral deposits of electrum, the mountain stronghold greatly increased in size, trade, and influence.

Trade along the coast was established primarily with the Elves and their sizable navy. While the access to exotic imports* was crucial to satiate the need for food, drink, and flesh that burns in every red-blooded Dwarf; the notion of dealing with pretentious Elves all the time annoyed most Dwarves to the point of avoidance. This general aversion provided a lucrative opportunity for the close Dwarf allies, the Gnomes. This particular coastal-dwelling*** subsistence living enclave supplied the Dwarves a steady supply of fresh sea delectables in exchange for a generous stream of electrum coins for the better part of the millennium. This huge influx of money became a constant flow that allowed the Gnomes to establish a network of small towns and trading posts all along the coastline. With this well-established infrastructure, taking on the task of being a go-between for the Dwarves was an easy transition. Additionally, the Gnomes were trusted for their shrewd business practices**** as well as general likable nature.Trade connections grew not only between Dwarves and Elves, but also Humans, Dragonborn, and even darker races*****. In time, these coastal Gnomes grew to become the primary merchants in the region. 

While not terribly keen on Humans, interactions were frequent, but solely regarding the contracting of Dwarvish trades******. Most other trade with Humans was done through Hill Dwarf intermediaries. The close kin to the Mountain Dwarves had developed long roots in the region well before the arrival of their “Alabama” brethren*******, as the Hills Dwarves would call them. The more refined but smaller and less physically capable Dwarves of the Deepshaft foothills have been sought after, near and far, for their slightly risky no-nonsense styling for humanoid and home. Whether it is the hottest new tournament champion or the Emperor of Shartenmaw- they will be wearing the latest fashion from any number of world renown Dwarven designers. This intuitive understanding of the needs and wants of a client extents to the bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen as well. There has not been a single issue of Chamberpot Aficionado******* without a feature article about a card carrying DILDO******** member. In fact, calling a Hill Dwarf a dildo is perceived as a compliment. While their sophisticated designs are highly regarded among many races, they are mostly dismissed by the Mountain Dwarves as unnecessary trappings best suited for women. The Mountain Dwarves do respect their kin’s ability to leverage the desires of the other races for practically any of the finest goods and services that can be procured. Hill Dwarves sell these commodities in Deepshaft, and in return receive highly-coveted crafting tools including the most durable of sewing needles. With strong trade routes and partners established throughout the region, the Mountain Dwarves of Deepshaft Hold had to continue to expand their mining operations to maintain the supply of electrum and stone as well as to accommodate their growing population.

As the hold********* within the mountains expanded, the attention it brought did so also. Several centuries passed in quiet prosperity for the Dwarves until their dark cousins the Duergar********** sought to take Deepshaft for their own. Mostly residing in the lands to the north of the Deepshaft Mountains, the Grey Dwarves along with their Drow allies laid siege to the hold. Their onslaught devastated almost all of the smaller communities in the mountains, but the dark alliance’s attack was ultimately repelled by the Dwarves with the help of GN.A.T.O.***********.

During the years of war, a fierce and particularly sadistic group of Dwarves emerged to fight on the frontlines against the dark armies. Known for dismembering their enemies, pureeing their entrails, and using the pulp to paint the entrances to their fortifications with images of Drow and Grey Dwarves- all with small dicks. This infuriated the Duergar************, but the Drow were simply confused by the anatomically accurate renderings************* of their naked bodies. The heated battles that would ensue were legendary.

After the war, the surviving members of the Mountain Dwarf vanguard were honored with the title “Darkhater”. This mantle was passed down through the generations not only as a sign of a Dwarf’s pedigree, but also as a constant reminder of the oath taken that whenever the mountain is under threat the Darkhaters will be the first called to duty. Within the Darkhater clan, individuals and families rose to more noted status. Among the greatest heroes of the Dark War was Kraegor Cleaverage*************. Due to his numerous victories throughout the campaign, Kraegor was elevated to the rank of Field Marshal. After the war, he was given charge of the outer defenses as well as overseeing the battle training of the elite fighters. Though they were not relegated to the outskirts of the domain, most Darkhaters took up residence near Cleaverage’s academy************** in order to ensure speedy response to any incursions as well as to train in the most advanced of military tactics. This tight knit enclave is still called to service periodically to defend outposts from foolish encroachers****************.

* Mostly consisting of Amazonian prostitutes (other than dwarf women, the only other humanoid able to handle the dwarven girth**) and foreign food goods

** Dwarven Girth is an oatmeal stout with hints of vanilla

*** Not all Gnomes live on the coast. Finding themselves well adapted to interact with most races (savvy barterers, negotiators, and con artists), Gnomes are common across the lands.

**** Gnomes are essentially the Jews of this game except for not having a Holocaust and the need to establish their own state on someone else's land (so way less annoying Jews and guilt inducing)

***** Many Gnomes are neutrally aligned allowing them to create lucrative business opportunities amongst higher intelligence evil races

****** Trades include but not limited to: Brewer, Distiller, Vintner, Smith, Mason, and Spelunking (both ass and cave)

****** Mountain Dwarves are inferior to Hill Dwarves in intelligence, wisdom, and tact. They will also fuck their cousins from time to time.

******* If Brad would have ever made a character then I would have him as Editor in Chief. Fuck Brad

******** Dwarven Interior & Lighting Designers Organization

********* Deepshaft Hold was the largest, most fortified, and best known settlement in the mountains, but there were several smaller fortifications and satellite mining posts dotted throughout the range.

********** Also known as Grey Dwarves, these evil dark-skinned Dwarves possess magical abilities to become invisible as well as temporarily grow to Giant-size.

********** GNomish Artillery & Tank Operation***********

*********** GN.A.T.O. is an extension of the Gnomish Trade Union. Its resources are used as a deterrent for anyone looking to upset the movement and trade of goods as it relates to any and all Gnomish Trade Union treaties.

************ While Mountain Dwarves are known for their girthy members, Grey Dwarves have historically been known in the Dwarf world as having humorously Human-sized dongs.

************* Dark Elves have Brad-sized micropenises

************* Kraegor Cleaverage was known by friend and foe to stride into battle donning a morning star codpiece**************. He would literally skull-fuck his enemies to death.

************** The morning star codpiece known by the nickname “The French Tickler” is handed down to the oldest male heir in the Cleaverage family.

*************** Only Darkhaters and select nobility and members of houses of high standing were allowed to train at the academy

*************** Though the war is long over, groups of Duergar and Drow dug in deep beneath the base of the mountain to create forward operating posts. From these posts, they conduct random raids on the smaller communities dotting the mountain range.